Nightswimming // REM

Happy New Year!

I started 2012 with a new job, and I'm walking every day, which is really nice. However it means I arrive at work hungry and have been purchasing crappy croissants from Sainsburys, which isn't great.

So I decided for my Spontaneous-Sunday bake I would make some kind of muffin, preferably with some kind of fruit and oats.
However being a spontaneous bake I didn't have too much to work with.

Here is how to make 12 of my Breakfast Muffins;

280g Plain Flour
1 tbsp Baking Powder
1/8 tsp Salt
1 tsp Cinnamon
115g Soft Brown Sugar
100g Sultanas
100g Chopped Apple
2 Eggs
250ml Milk
6 tbsp Sunflower Oil
1 tsp Vanilla Extract
Handful of Pumpkin Seeds
Handful of Sunflower Seeds

-Preheat over to gas mark 6. Line a 12 hole muffin tray with paper cases.
-Sift flour, baking powder, salt and cinnamon into a bowl. Stir in the apple and sultanas.
-Beat the eggs in a jug along with the milk, oil and vanilla extract.
-Add to dry ingredients and mix well.
-Fill the cases with the mix and sprinkle the seeds over.
-Bake for 20 minutes until well risen, golden brown and firm to the touch.
-Leave in the tin for 5 minutes then transfer to a cooling rack.


Libby's notes;
-I accidentally used SR flour, instead of plain. They haven't turned into the monsters I imagined so maybe that was ok.
-I used up the last of my brown sugar sprinkling it on top of the seeds as there was too little to bother with putting back into the cupboard.
-I managed to put an eggy whisk into J's coffee. I wouldn't recommend this.

Verdict (By Jonny) - They were delicious!

Not too sweet so good for breakfast but filled with flavour the warm cinnamon and soft apple went really well with the crunch of the pumpkin seeds on top. I'm not entirely sure that they'll last until tomorrow morning.

Pump It Up // Elvis Costello

I like Halloween. Haven't really done anything proper for a few years due to Whitbying. But this year as we were about, and due to some clever point of sale pumpkins (I'm a serious sucker for point of sale marketing) we ended up making a pumpkin pie, and buying some Montezuma's chocolate frogs.

Both tasted pretty rank, but I enjoyed the baking, and setting up these photos was great fun.

From now on I might use shitloads of candles in every photo we do.

The frogs were too dark for my sweet tooth, and were grainy. They were also battered due to poor packaging.

The pie was pretty rank, but custard with the addtion of mashed up pumpkin doesn't really sound like a partnership made in heaven.

Happy Halloween!!!!

(Jonny Helm carved the pumpkin for me.. I think he is amazing)

Some Kind of a Summer // David Cassidy

I received an interesting text message from Becci, while on the way to visit her. It contained the following picture;

And I thought '....dear god'

At the time Jonny and I were en route to Becci's to enjoy a relaxed evening of socialising nothingness. Jonny suggested I review the sandwich, which contains clotted cream, strawberry jam and strawberries.
Over the course of our journey we sort of came to the conclusion that it was similar to a cream tea, but wronger. I thought I would never get the chance to review it, as it's not something I would condone by purchasing.

But when we arrived at Becci & Chay's we were confronted by the sight of the end of this sandwich - saved for us to try. Chay justifies it in the video.

I went first.

I have said before that I don't really like eating cream. Clotted cream is a rare exception to this, I will enjoy it on a scone, as long as I don't get any 'top'. But I  especially don't like cream from Tesco.

Then Jonny had a go.

It was horrible. And I'm going to blame it's existance on Wimbledon Fortnight. Bastards.
First you make commuting through Wimbledon complete hell for two weeks ('Oh! Oh! The tennis! Did you see Pat Cash?! Oh what a dish. What's that? You like my Wimbledon Umbrella? Yes, yes, I bought it especially to hit commuters in the face with when we get back to the station, or just to stop them getting where they're trying to go, awfully good sport in a downpour.') then you create a fucking awful sandwich.

I Can't Live With You // Queen

This song is my favourite Queen song. Its probable that I love it so much because everytime I hear it I think of being in the kitchen in Forest Hut, my favourite room in my favourite house.
I think the last time I was there was back in January, which was aaaaaages ago. Too long.It wasn't the best trip, it probably wasn't the best time to go in hindsight.

But I made a key lime pie. It's not something I'd ever done before, but wanted something easy, and when looking at the ingredients list (biscuits, butter, cream, condensed milk, limes) it just looked like it was going to be lush.

It really was. It was a bit stressful to make. I've said this before - Forest Hut is a dumping ground for things that aren't quite good enough to have in your full-time house (Mouse Trap with half the parts missing? That was one of the most dissapointing moments in my life, and I'll rant about it to anyone that will listen) so if you bake you're doing it on limited equipment.
The thing missing for this was some kind of grater/zester for the peel of the lime. Jonny worked really hard peeling and chopping about 8 limes to get the zest, and I looked at the product of about an hour of hard labour and said 'No.' Now I wasn't just being a bitch, I for once was going on my instinct that chucking in a load of pithy, lumpy zest would ruin my smooth, creamy pudding.



Jonny later concurred that I was right, and it was such an excellent pudding that it did not need the zest.

Just remembering this has made me want to make another. Here's the recipe!

I Want It All // Queen

I love Nutella. Oh I love it so much. It's incredible. Nothing really compares to it. My favourite thing ever and my favourite thing to do with it is make hot chocolate. I first learnt that it's best to make Hot Chocolate with proper, real chocolate, not some powdery gumf, at William Curley, as it's much, much nicer. You don't get that horrible powdery texture. It's not watery and it's as sweet as you want it, not as sweet as the manufacturer of said gumf wanted it.
I fall back on this information in times of need - you know those times when you want to eat a kilo of chocolate but only have a few squares? Turning it into hot chocolate always made it last much longer.

I don't do this at home anymore. Instead I make Nutella hot chocolate. It's easy and delicious. Recipe follows;

Serves 1
300 ml Whole Milk
3 heaped tsp Nutella

1.Measure your milk into a sizeable jug, then pour it into a pan and put it on a medium heat.
2. Into the same jug place the Nutella.
3. When the milk boils pour it over the Nutella.
4. Whisk thoroughly to make a smooth mixture, making sure to get the Nutella from the sides of the jug combined.
5. Work up a nice froth then pour into mug.
6. Drink immediately.

When we were first in the flat I realised I would have to get used to an electric oven, and it followed that I would have to do some baking test runs.
The first test I did I was hankering after something chocolatey. I'd only brought my cupcake tins with me, not a whole cake tin so they would have to do, but I ran into the small problem of having no chocolate to use, and then I saw it!! The holy Nutella, usually reserved for hot chocolates and eating straight from the jar when Jonny isn't looking, like a beautiful beacon of chocolate hope.

I whipped up a normal batch of vanilla cupcakes sans vanilla and at the end bunged in a load of Nutella until it looked chocolatey enough. I should have measured it so I can give you precise instructions, but I was caught up with how much of a genius idea it was.
Then I made some vanilla frosting sans vanilla and did the same again. It makes quite a light brown icing, but it's yummy.


They tasted amazing, and I made three more batches in as many days. I think they've taken over Black Bottomed Cupcakes as my favourite chocolate cake, they're much easier to make.

What Have I Done to Deserve This? // Pet Shop Boys

I have a new job! It's all very exciting. I've been there three weeks now, and it's exhausting but great. Much much better than my old job, which I'd grown really fed up of.
I was very sad to leave when it came to it, but I know that I'll still see the people who made it such a great place to work.

Cakes always went down a storm there, so I made some to take in for my last day. I wanted to do some cupcakes (as they're always easy), one load fruity and one load that are a bit different.

For the fruity ones I found a Hummingbird recipe for Strawberry Cheesecake Cupcakes. I don't know what it is about that book, I trust it too much. It was completely against my instincts to shovel a load of chopped up strawberries into a cake case, top with batter and bake. I knew they would turn to some kind of horrible mush and the cases wouldn't stand it, but for some reason I trusted the book and did it anyway. They were rank. I left them to dry out over night and took in half of them for work uniced.. I don't know if anyone thought 'bleearrrgh what on Earth is she feeding us?' as they revealed the mess of strawberries at the bottom of the cake. If I make them again I will do it as follows; Bake cupcake as usual. Hollow out some cake, fill with chopped strawberries. Ice. Much better.

For the other batch I did Hummingbird's Marshmallow Cupcakes, as pictured. My thoughts behind this were that they were the girliest cake I'd ever seen, and it seemed entirely appropriate to make a batch for 12 male engineers.


I liked these a lot, a much more logical recipe, and much much tastier.
The only thing I would change would be to make my own marshmallows and fill the cupcakes with the unset goo, rather than melting shop-bought ones.

Lost // Korn

We have been listening to a lot of Radio 4. I suppose it's what comes from not having a television. I am obsessed with Book at Bedtime, though Jonny says I'm never awake for the end. I feel out of sorts if I miss one.

The other programme I rather enjoy is Woman's Hour. Recently we listened to a whole piece on Madeleines, when I realised I've never had one.

Madeleines are small, almond cakes which are baked in a special shell shaped mould. They are a French speciality, made famous by Proust.

So while touring Waitrose with Jonny during one of our weekly shops we spotted a bag of Bonne Maman Madeleines. I was allowed to buy them, Jonny was looking for an excuse to take some photos of my new tea set (more on this in a moment) and I was looking for an excuse to eat cake.

They were ok, a bit boring. We dunked them into our tea (probably not the done thing with a tea set as beautiful as this), which made them soggy. Jonny loved this. I'm not so sure. You got some extra cake at the end of your tea which isn't very nice.
I'd like to try some that aren't mass produced, and also make some of my own as I was given a beautiful mould a few years ago for a birthday, which was a lovely yet daunting gift. I guess hopefully I'll come back to this in the future.


Now for the important stuff! Look at my tea set! Look at it! See how beautiful it is. I am the luckiest girl in the world. I am the proud owner of the most beautiful tea set in the world. It's staggering how in love I can be with some plates.
Where Jonny and I have moved to has some incredible shops, one of which is an incredible vintage interiors shop (I've touched on my secret interior design passion in the past) and I can spend many hours (if allowed) browsing and touching and longing. It is called Nicholas and Steele. The first time I had a proper browse I stumbled on an amazing black tea set, and it was the first I'd laid eyes on that I actually needed. Nothing could match my desire for it.
Unfortunately it sold, but J had wandered in and left his number, and a few weeks later we got a text saying they'd sourced a better set!
This was a much more convenient time, I'd come into a little windfall that I didn't want to waste on nothing, and it allowed me to buy the set which includes 5 lots of delicate tea cups, saucers and cake plates, a milk jug and sugar bowl, and a matching cake stand.

It really is the best set I've ever seen, and I have seen an awful lot of them. It is black, and then it has bright pink big flowers on. I love it.

Seaside Rendezvous // Queen

The Rainbow Connection // Kermit The Frog

You know it's Jonny's birthday when a Muppet song is involved. In fact I've just put on a video of this song that he must have seen about ten times before, and he still goes a bit crazy.

I made a big cake for Jonny's birthday party/our house warming. He'd seen it online and told me he wanted me to make it for him.
It is a direct copy of Whisk Kid's Epic Rainbow Cake. Most people have seen this before, I'm sure. Hers is much better than mine. I struggled with getting a neat finish on the buttercream.

If you are going to make this cake do exactly as she says, and handily there is also a link to her demonstrating how to make it with Martha Stuart.

I was a bit stressed when it came to it. I only had one cake tin, and only a little bit of time, and many other cakes to make, as well as the house to tidy in readiness for the party.
I assembled the cake (see time lapse made by the lovely Jonny) and stuck it in the fridge, along with the left over icing so that I could finish it in the morning.



This was a mistake. The icing split overnight and was maaaaaaanky. So I sent J out for emergency eggs and made another batch. It turned out to be a bit of fate in the end as I would never have had enough left from the first batch, and that could have been a bigger disaster if I'd started.

The cake went down very well. Jonny took the remaining half to work with him on Monday and received the following comments;
"It's beautiful"
"The Chernobyl Cake"
"I've never tasted neon before"
"If this was a pair of socks I'd buy it"
"Wow lovely cake, I hate when I like it"
"I've photographed it so I can take it home and say 'look what I got at work'"
"Did you try the cake? the amazing cake"

I've been asked to do another. Note to self - get at least two more cake tins.

Brandy // Red Hot Chili Peppers

We made pancakes and I used brandy to flambee them. Enjoy.



Jonny

Colourblind // Darius

Aahh you can't beat a bit of Darius.





These were done ages ago, marshmallows with the remaining American gummy bears. I wanted to do something with them that would show off the amazing colours.



I think I need a new sugar thermometer, as all of my recent marshmallows haven't been that good, a bit too squishy and sticky, I don't think all of these got eaten.



Sorry for the lack of posts between now and Christmas, things went a bit wonky. I have a few posts to catch up on and should be back on track for Easter.

Deeply Dippy // Right Said Fred

I'm getting so excited about Christmas. The trees went up last weekend, so I made them some stained glass tree biscuits with the help of Jonny on Wednesday evening.


We're having a party next week, and the theme is red gingham (the only thing I'm allowed to be in control of, according to Jonny!) so I wanted these to fit, so I decided on heart shape, to only be filled with red sweeties, and to be hung with gingham ribbon.


I won't try and pretend that these are revolutionary biscuits, I think I've made them since I was very little, but they are stunning. This morning the tree was the only thing lit up in the house, and the way fairy lights glowed through the biscuit looked magical.


They are a little bit dark for my liking, I put way too much mixed spice in, so they raw dough was sort of brown rather than golden. And some of them caught in the oven, and they don't taste good, as to be expected.


But this was the first time I've managed to find a recipe where the biscuits did not spread in the oven. My top tip will be not to use any kind of baking or grease proof paper for cooking them on - the sweeties will stick.
Hoepfully they'll last a while on the tree. I've held some back in the tin just incase the giant mouse that lives there gets to any.

Earth Song // Michael Jackson

I was asked to do another allotment cake on the back of the Transition Town Cake . It was for the charity Eco Local for a celebration they were having, and was, thankfully, much smaller.

I was very pleased with the turnout of this cake. The icing was the best I've ever done, and it seemed ashame to put on the ribbon, and then all the mini vegetables on top.

But it looked grand in the end, and apparently it went down very well at the party.

Fundamentally Loathsome // Marylin Manson

Last weekend I had a foody trip into London, followed by a Christmas Shop-About with Jonny.

I mooched around Borough Market with some like-minded (mulled wine drinking, pie eating, foody) friends. There was a woman selling un-iced 6 inch square Christmas cakes for £47.00!! It was boozy stodge, and not very nice. Anyway, I bought pies and cheese, then we went for lunch at Black and Blue.The burger I had was lovely, but the puddings were a bit meh. I had an icecream sundae, which I suppose you couldn't really go wrong with. Apparently the chocolate brownie was too floury. But I guess that you can't judge a steak restaraunt on its puddings.
After that we hopped in a cab to Knightsbridge and snagged us a table in the Harvey Nichols Champagne bar, and drank some incredible fizz. Amazing.

Then, a little worse for wear I met Jonny and we went and did our Christmas Liberty Trip. Oxford Street and Regents Street were closed for the turning on of the lights, and there was a really nice atmosphere everywhere. Aww.

I went to try on some shoes which I had spent a week lusting over, and they were heart-breakingly narrow. So I cried and Jonny had to take drastic action to cheer me up, the action was attempting to find a tube station and rush home for Strictly.

In hunting for the tube we stumbled across Cox, Cookies and Cake. I admit, I may not have gone in with an entirely open-mind. I'd read a few scathing reviews of the 'Adult' cake shop, a joint venture between Patrick Cox and Eric Lanlard. Yes, it's in Soho. Yes, it's all black and neon. Yes, the staff wear studded leather aprons. Yes, it's crap.

I couldn't see the cookies on entry, just rows and rows of ghastly cupcakes. I asked and the man serving looked at me like I was crazy and pointed out a whole one, thin row of cookies. He said they were all different, but this was clearly a lie, as he named four types, and there were about 9 in the row.

We bought a double chocolate chip one, and ate it on the bus home. Jonny said we could buy a pack of Tesco ones for £1 and photograph those. No one would be able to tell. And the Tesco ones would be better value for money. The Cox Cookies cost £2.50 each. Crazy.

Now the cupcakes. We opted for a Hazelnut and Chocolate one (torso cake) and a Chocolate and Raspberry one (skull cake). None of the cakes were actually labelled with their flavour, which for me, sums up the fact that this shop is entirely about image.

He put them in a box and thrust them towards us.I had to ask for a bag, and they were put into a clear shopping bag. Now, you'd think that this over-publicised shop would have put some thought into the fact that customers will have to travel with their slutty cakes, and therefore would design a bag, in keeping with their theme, that would allow safe transportation of the rude confection. 




Clearly not. That's what they looked like when we got home.

We shared the cakes with my family for a brunch-time snack. The hazelnut one was dry and the frosting was cream cheese which did not go. At all.
The chocolate and raspberry one was a little more moist, but that's because it had a filling of jam. I do not want a cupcake with jam in. Thank you. I can think of many ways to get raspberry into a chocolate cake without having to fill it with jam.

The toppers for the cake were inedible. The torse was made of white chocolate. It was untempered, so chewy and gritty and foul. The skull was made of dark chocolate, which though texturally ok, was very bitter, so I'm going to be mean and assume it's very cheap.

I won't be going back. It's a gimmick, and a very dissapointing gimmick. I did not feel edgy when buying sexed-up cupcakes. I just felt like I'd been conned. The cupcakes cost £4.00 each. £4.00!!!

Jonny also says that a cake shop should really consider it's clientele when choosing door size. It's outrageously skinny, we had to turn side-on to escape.

Somewhere Over The Rainbow // Israel Kamakawiwo'ole

Back in September was my friends wedding, I've posted about practice cupcakes for them.
I spent a day solidly baking, decorating and packing up an large amount of cupcakes, just over 150 to be precise. By the end of it I could barely stand up, I was exhausted.



I also did a large chocolate cake, with a Star Wars topper, made by my fantastic brother, Ollie - Glass Candle Grenades.



The day of the actual wedding was interesting, Jonny was official photographer so I was pretty much alone. His Mum, Rosemary shipped me and the cakes about, which I am so grateful for, it would have been very hard to do it on the bus!

There was a small issue of a tablecloth, which a swift jog along the river at Kingston solved, and then I got my own little peaceful trip on one of the Turks Pier boats up to Teddington, where I was met with more cakes at the Wharf.

Then back to get ready and off to enjoy the wedding. Everything was so beautiful and perfect and I got fantastically drunk.

Bring Your Daughter To The Slaughter // Iron Maiden

I'm the worst daughter ever. This cake is my Dad's Christmas cake from last year. It took me a year to finish it for him. There is no excuse. I just suck.



It was kept nicely fed and apparently is still in tip top condition and is currently being consumed by him while he's on holiday in Scotland.

I did it with Jonny one evening when all I really wanted to do was sleep, hence why it is so simple, and a little bit rough around the edges. And on a plate, not a cake board.

Walla Walla // Offspring

My brother - Glass Candle Grenades - has returned from his trip to America. He was full of stories and excitement and a large amount of endearing love for his new friends.

He cunningly managed to time his trip to miss my birthday, my Mum's birthday and my Dad's. Strangely enough, he returned in time for his own. He had been in touch and asked what we'd like him to bring back. Dad asked for duty-free rum and Mum wasn't sure what she wanted.

I asked for 'sweets, not chocolate.' I've tasted all the American chocolate I want to.

I got 1.3 kilos of Haribo Gold Bears.

I'm still ploughing through them, I can only eat a few at a time. The colours are incredible on them, so we had some photo fun, which was also an excuse to hunt through the family crockery.

I don't know if it's just me being a bit weird, or if I'm actually right, but I think they have a much higher gelatine content than British ones. Maybe a blind tasting is in order.

Hungry Heart // Bruce Springsteen

The Dessert Bar has opened at William Curley!! Well, it opened a little while back but monetary constraints meant we were forced to wait.
Then it was my birthday and it was the only thing I could think of that I actually wanted was a trip for some pudding action.
Turns out it was a complete treat day for me - we started off at the London Transport Museum! They have busses and tube trains and so much information about the transport! Serious swoon.

Libby loved driving the bus.

We arrived at William Curley to a lovely welcome after a little trip on a routemaster! Yay!! It was busy so we went and chilled out in the pretty square over the road. Then when it was time we headed in.


So when you go for the a la carte menu you get three courses of dessert! And it all gets made by a chef right in front of you, so you can see exactly what you're getting, and the work and skill that goes into it.
The first course is pre-dessert. The first was a moelleux-au-chocolat, with chocolate sauce, kinako bean ice cream and crystalised pistachios.
The ice cream is never something I would have picked out for myself, but it was lush. I loved it. I'll definately have it next time I go. The moelleux was beautiful - warm and gooey. It definately whet my appetite.


The next pre-dessert was the Pomme Granita. It consisted of a jelly made with agar agar. The texture was completely different to a gelatine jelly. It was melt-in-the-mouth and moreish. The next layer up was creme fraiche, followed by apple spaghetti and topped with the granita part.
It was so fresh and tangy. Jonny and I loved it and I could have eaten two. Or three.


Then the main part. There is a small back story behind my choice. When I worked in the Richmond store I was confronted every day by a picture in the shop of the Mille-Feuille. It wasn't being sold while I worked there, but a tiny version was included on the petit-four. Which I loved. And it was never enough. I have been longing for a full-sized one for almost two years. When we were asked what we'd like for the main there was no hesitation. I didn't even look at the other choices.
The mille feuille consists of layers of hazelnut and chocolate sponges, chocolate mousse, and a layer of praline biscuit and it came with muscavado ice cream and orange segments and orange sauce. Jonny had a bit more of a puzzle but opted for the Foret Noire.


There are no words for how happy I was with my mille feuille. The Foret Noir had white chocolate mousse, dark chocolate mousse, sponge and a kirsch syrup. It came with griottine cherries in a sauce and crystalised pistachios. He obviously has an unmanly and weak stomach and filled up and started finding his a bit rich. Wimp. His was boozy and incredible looking. It came in a cylinder of chocolate. I can't even fathom how it's made.


Then we had the petit fours. These were adorable mini pistachio macarons sandwiched together with a very dark chocolate ganache, and another adorable mini chocolate and yuzu financier, which is my favourite William Curley cake.


All this was washed down with hot chocolate and then home-made lemonade, which was just what you needed to balance out the sweetness.


I can't wait to go back. I suggested to Jonny that we should make it a weekly habit, but he wasn't so keen. Maybe once a month would be reasonable. It costs £15.00 per person. Which also leaves me a bit lost for words as the amount you get and the quality of the experience is just incredible.

Red Velvet // OutKast

I've long avoided writing this blog to avoid writing something libellous.
The main fault with libel laws is that at the end of the day the publisher is guilty until proven innocent. Or to put it another way; if i was going to call one of London's most successful bakers "morons who know nothing about cooking"
I would be forced by a court of law to prove that this was irrefutably the truth while, until I had done so, I would be expected to cough up the sum of damages to the "moronic" baker's reputation each time the words get published.

Ladies and gentlemen, In the delightful world of the Internet, every day is a new publication. As such the delightfully nick-named and over paid libel lawyers criticised weekly in Private-eye are able to open a new case and compensation claim every day. The one and great defence against the libel lawyers is the fact that you are telling the truth this makes a claim no longer libellous and simply a fact. I concede that probably a successful baking company does in fact know a bit about cooking and as establishers of a working and growing business are probably not moronic.

In conclusion, your honours, I would like to state that the humming-bird bakers are NOT morons who know nothing about cooking. In fact they are shrewd marketers who are bloody good at scamming their customers. So you get hyperbolic online reviews like these:

"incredible cup cakes Red Velvet is incredible if you fancy one BUY 2!!! Trust me on this…" said BigBruv from Cardiff


"This place never fail [sic] to deliver. It’s the best place to hang out with a mate or two on a saturday afternoon, having a slice of cake.
My favorite is the Red Velvet cake. They are delicious!"
comments beequin from London


"I have heard that the likes of Gwyneth Paltrow and Ewan McGregor come to buy cake here and I wouldn't be surprised!
They sell the most amazing cakes and cupcakes. The best are the red velvet cupcakes. This also comes in a full sized cake.
It is a sponge which is red, iced with the most delicious cream cheese icing I have ever tasted."

That's right dw27 from London it is a cake that is red.

Hold on.. what do you say? a cake that is red! ... you mean... NO! you don't say? someone has put red food colouring in a cake.
HOLD THE PHONE GUYS. Call the Times and hold the front page on the Wall Street Journal and while Murdoch's on the blower we'll get this in the Australian Sun.

Someone SOMEWHERE Has had the tenacity to put food colouring into some food!


I first encountered this scam about a year ago. Libby had reason to make some cupcakes to impress and she had heard of these great "Red Velvet" cupcakes.
Everyone said they were the best, "there must be some baking trick" she said. Some kind of secret ingredient..
I countered that this was silly and in fact they can't be that good chocolate cupcakes would be nicer. "But" our lovely lib said, "but everyone on the Internet says they're the best".."they cant just be ordinary cakes"

I gave in, there must be some trick I thought. Because, sometimes reluctantly, I usually trust Libby when it comes to cake.
She scoured one recipe book then purchased a new cupcake recipe book.
It didn't have a red-velvet recipe. She then forked out a bit more for the Humming-Bird Bakery recipe book. This book told her the secret. The trick. The hidden ingredient. The baker's special flick of the wrist that makes red velvet the top cupcake of the day.
It told her to make a cake and to put in to the mix some red food colouring.

I don't know why it's so disappointing but I just feel cheated. We eventually wound up in Portabello and got a black bottomed cupcake and a red-velvet. It was so red! It was like a cupcake had been slaughtered and bled onto another cupcake then covered
with frosting. Aesthetics aside the cupcake was under filled and over topped but that's ok as the cake (once you've had a swig of whisky to help you overcome the shock of it's cakey redness) is pretty dull and wouldn't hold up to close scrutiny if presented on its own. Cupcakes dry out quickly so it was our fault for carrying the cake all the way home from Portobello before tucking in; It was dry, but there should have been some flavour.
The icing is nice but if I want a cheesecake I'll buy a cheesecake thankyouverymuch.


As you may have gathered I have a general contempt of excessive food colouring. It's not big and it's not clever. Colouring foods unnecessarily was in its last throes when Fanny Craddock dyed hard boiled eggs blue in the 70's in an attempt to reinvigorate her image. Are you surprised that it was a total flop?

If you're still taken in by the red-velvet phenomenon, come to my house and I'll cook you a purple roast chicken and I hope you choke.

Smaller and Smaller // Faith No More

A little bit of news to start - Jonny has graduated! I think. I don't really know what process he has to go through to make him graduated (yay grammer) but I know that he's finished uni and his mark has been confirmed and he had his exhibition. Which was great fun, and I was very drunk.

Anyway to celebrate his Mum hosted a little do. She asked me and my Mum to do the sweets.


This was an exciting offer as I'd just bought a new book from Books for Cooks. If you are ever in the Portabello Road area I would say you should do to Books for Cooks more than you should go to the Hummingbird Bakery.

Anyway my new book is called Petit Fours and is just beautiful. I bought it for inspiration for not only food photography and styling, but interior inspiration too (that there is my guilty little indulgence that doesn't involve The Doctor).

The recipes in this book are brilliant. Definately aimed at the dinner party hosting crowd. The recipes are for bacthes of around 8-10. We made the lime meringue pies and the raspberry mousse brownies.


And I did some cute piping, which I was quite pleased with. The lime meringue pies were lovely and I plan to make lots more. The raspberry brownies were a bit trickier. As ever I couldn't tell when the brownie was done, so it was much dryer than it should have been. Mum made the mousse, and it was weird. Weird. Sort of grainy. I should read the recipe, that would probably explain why.


They all went down very well, and everyone said how nice they were. The main point of this post will be LOOK AT THE PIPING!!